Fixed most of the issues and also adds much more fun!

main.js

@@ -1,21 +1,49 @@
 var Slack = require('slack-node');
 var async = require('async');
 var GitHubApi = require("github");
+var pluralize = require('pluralize');
+var moment = require('moment');
 var CronJob = require('cron').CronJob;
 var format = require('util').format;
+var restler = require('restler');
 var q = require('q');
 
 var apiToken = process.env.SLACK_API_TOKEN;
 var githubApiToken = process.env.GITHUB_API_TOKEN;
 var channel = process.env.SLACK_CHANNEL || "#general";
 var slackIcon = process.env.SLACK_ICON || "http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9TT2oDIQ00k/TqVViEko4HI/AAAAAAAAADU/svUOHDxP6UM/s1600/T-rex-hates-push-ups.jpg";
 var slackUsername = process.env.SLACK_USERNAME || "Swolebot";
-var messageTemplate = "@channel: %s pushups!";
-var ratio = process.env.RATIO || 2;
+var messageTemplate = "@channel: %s Open Pull Requests (%s old). %s! %s";
+var ratio = process.env.RATIO || 1;
 var hours = (typeof process.env.HOURS !== 'undefined') ? process.env.HOURS.split(',') : [11, 14, 17];
 var timezone = process.env.TIMEZONE || "America/New_York";
+var quotesEnabled = process.env.QUOTES === 'true' ? true : false;
 var runInWeekends = (process.env.WEEKENDS) || false;
-var repos;
+var repos, exercises;
+
+var funMessages = [
+	getRandQuote
+];
+
+if (process.env.EXERCISES) {
+	var tmp = process.env.EXERCISES.split(',');
+	var good = {};
+	if (process.env.EXERCISES.indexOf(':') > -1) {
+		exercises = {};
+		tmp.forEach(function (section) {
+			var items = section.split(':');
+			exercises[items[0]] = parseFloat(items[1]);
+		});
+	} else {
+		exercises = tmp;
+	}
+} else {
+	exercises = {
+		situp: 1,
+		pushup: 1.5,
+		jump: 2
+	};
+}
 
 if (process.env.REPOS) {
 	repos = process.env.REPOS.split(',');
@@ -35,6 +63,58 @@ github.authenticate({
 	token: githubApiToken
 });
 
+function getRandSlackUserName(msg) {
+	return getChannelID(channel).then(function (id) {
+		return q.ninvoke(slack, 'api', "channels.info", {
+			channel: id
+		});
+	}).then(function (resp) {
+		var user = resp.channel.members[rand(resp.channel.members.length, 0) - 1];
+		return q.ninvoke(slack, 'api', "users.info", {
+			user: user
+		});
+	}).then(function (resp) {
+		var name = '@' + resp.user.name;
+		if (msg) {
+			return format(msg, name);
+		}
+		return name;
+	});
+}
+
+function getRandQuote() {
+	var def = q.defer();
+	restler.get('http://www.iheartquotes.com/api/v1/random', {
+		query: {
+			source: 'esr+humorix_misc+humorix_stories+joel_on_software+macintosh+math+mav_flame+osp_rules+paul_graham+prog_style+subversion',
+			format: 'json',
+			max_lines: 5
+		}
+	}).on('complete', def.resolve);
+	return def.promise.then(function (data) {
+		return '\n\n\n' + data.quote;
+	});
+}
+
+function getChannelID(name) {
+	if (name.indexOf('#') !== 0) {
+		return q.when(name);
+	}
+	return q.ninvoke(slack, 'api', "channels.list").then(function (resp) {
+		var id = '';
+		resp.channels.forEach(function (channel) {
+			if (channel.name === name.substr(1)) {
+				id = channel.id;
+			}
+		});
+		return id;
+	});
+}
+
+function ucFirst(str) {
+	return str.substr(0, 1).toUpperCase() + str.substr(1);
+}
+
 function postMessage(message, callback) {
 	return q.ninvoke(slack, 'api', "chat.postMessage", {
 		channel: channel,
@@ -79,7 +159,19 @@ function getPRs(user, repo, callback) {
 		state: 'open',
 		per_page: 100
 	}).then(function (data) {
-		return data.length;
+		var toReturn = {
+			prs: data.length,
+			old: 0,
+			num: data.length
+		};
+		var now = new Date().getTime();
+		data.forEach(function (pr) {
+			if (moment(pr.created_at).add(5, 'days').format('x') < now) {
+				toReturn.num++;
+				toReturn.old++;
+			}
+		});
+		return toReturn;
 	});
 }
 
@@ -102,35 +194,88 @@ function getRepos() {
 	});
 }
 
+function rand(upTo, min) {
+	if (min === undefined) {
+		min = 1;
+	}
+	return Math.ceil((Math.random() * Math.ceil(upTo)) + Math.ceil(min));
+}
+
+function compileExercise(amount) {
+	var rands = {}, left = amount, messages = [], collection;
+	if (Array.isArray(exercises)) {
+		collection = exercises;
+	} else {
+		collection = Object.keys(exercises);
+	}
+	collection.forEach(function (name, i) {
+		if (i === collection.length - 1) {
+			rands[name] = left;
+			return;
+		}
+		var rnd = rand(amount / Math.pow(collection.length, 2), amount / ((collection.length - 1) * 2));
+		left -= rnd;
+		rands[name] = rnd;
+	});
+	Object.keys(rands).forEach(function (name) {
+		var amount = rands[name];
+		if (exercises[name]) {
+			amount = Math.floor(amount * exercises[name]);
+		}
+		if (amount >= 1) {
+			messages.push(pluralize(name, amount, true));
+		}
+	});
+
+	return messages.join(', ');
+}
+
+function getFunMessage() {
+	var rnd = rand(funMessages.length - 1, 0);
+	var msg = funMessages[rnd];
+	if (typeof msg !== 'function') {
+		return msg;
+	}
+	return msg();
+}
+
 function run() {
 	console.log('Started!');
 	getRepos().then(function (data) {
-		var arr = [];
+		var arr = [], exclude = [];
 		data.forEach(function (items) {
 			if (Array.isArray(items)) {
 				arr = arr.concat(items);
+			} else if (items.indexOf('!') === 0){
+				exclude.push(items.substr(1));
 			} else {
 				arr.push(items);
 			}
 		});
 		// We want to make sure, that we will make no more pushups than we 'want'
 		return arr.filter(function(item, pos) {
-			return arr.indexOf(item) === pos && arr.lastIndexOf(item) === pos;
+			return arr.indexOf(item) === pos && arr.lastIndexOf(item) === pos && exclude.indexOf(item) === -1;
 		});
 	}).then(function (arr) {
 		return q.ninvoke(async, 'map', arr, function (data, callback) {
 			var str = data.split('/');
-			getPRs(str[0], str[1]).then(function (nums) {
-				callback(null, nums);
+			getPRs(str[0], str[1]).then(function (data) {
+				callback(null, data);
 			});
 		});
 	}).then(function (data) {
-		var amount = 0;
-		data.forEach(function (num) {
-			amount += num;
+		var amount = 0, prs = 0, old = 0;
+		data.forEach(function (repo) {
+			amount += repo.num;
+			prs += repo.prs;
+			old += repo.old;
 		});
-		amount = amount * ratio;
-		return postMessage(format(messageTemplate, amount));
+		if (!ratio && Array.isArray(exercises)) {
+			amount = amount * ratio;
+		}
+		return [prs, old, compileExercise(amount), (quotesEnabled ? getFunMessage() : '')];
+	}).spread(function(prs, old, exercises, message) {
+		return postMessage(format(messageTemplate, prs, old, exercises, (exercises.length > 0) ? message : ''));
 	}).then(function () {
 		console.log("Done!");
 	}).catch(function (err) {

package.json

@@ -20,7 +20,10 @@
     "async": "^0.9.0",
     "cron": "^1.0.5",
     "github": "^0.2.3",
+    "moment": "^2.9.0",
+    "pluralize": "^1.1.1",
     "q": "^1.1.2",
+    "restler": "^3.2.2",
     "slack-node": "0.0.93",
     "time": "^0.11.0"
   }